I was nearly taken out by a bicyclist crossing the street today, he was following a bike path that cut across the road. If it wasn't for the people walking towards me on the crosswalk who stopped and looked toward him, I would have been completely blindsided by that moron. Bike paths are the work of the devil.
In a similar vein, this time from that fair city, Philadelphia, comes this post on Craig's List. Here's the original link.
And here's the text for when that ad expires...
luckily missed connection with your stupid ass on a bike - w4w (going the wrong way on passyunk ave)
Reply to: email@example.com
Date: 2008-06-18, 10:41AM EDT
you: chick on a bike with no helmet, no riding smarts, and no clue.
me: chick on a bike with helmet and enough skills & sense to avoid getting us both really, really hurt.
so--there i was. tuesday night at about 8:20pm. riding my bike going east on christian, and then turning left (north--you know. the way traffic goes.) onto passyunk ave. i ride my bike--actually ride, and do some racing. i'm not just a hipster poseur who thinks a fixed gear is the be-all end-all of urban coolness--and i laid down a pretty nice hard, flat turn going at about 18mph. i passed your boyfriend as he turned onto christian but thanks to the big van at the NW corner i couldn't see anything on passyunk itself.
but then, i didn't expect to make that hard, fast turn and be confronted with you, wobbling around on your bike in the dead middle of the street, thus forcing me to ride outside you, even as you continued to bear down on me. as soon as you saw me you started screeching and riding straight toward me, forcing me even more outside, putting us both on multiple potential collision courses--me with you, you with me, and both of us with the parked cars on either side of the street. i managed to avoid the crash, but you f-ed up my night, asshole.
so here, my squawking friend, are a few tips:
1. don't be an f-ing MORON. don't ride your bike down streets the wrong way. we all do it occasionally, but frankly save us all the trouble and take your lazy ass the whole, entire, extra block out of your way, okay? your carelessness could not only have gotten up both hurt pretty f-ing bad, but could have gotten either one of us killed if there had been a moving car, pedestrian, etc. in the vicinity. it's one thing if you decide to remove yourself from the gene pool, but frankly i'm pretty smart and nice and good-looking. you have no right to endanger me and my life (not to mention my enjoyment of a lovely evening tooling around town on my bike) with your stupidity.
2. if you've got time to scream, you've got time to steer. screaming sucks. all you did was freak yourself and me out even more. plus you kept looking at me in a panic, which meant that even as i was attempting to avoid a head-on collision you kept riding toward me. instead of panicking, look and point your bike AWAY from the obstacle. if you look at me you are going to ride into me.
3. wear an f-ing helmet, moron. like i said, i've done some racing. i've seen people dislocate shoulders, break arms, sustain concussions, detach retinas, and receive facial maulings. and those were people **wearing** helmets. clearly you are not a good enough rider to chance it. spend the $$$ and get yourself some protection before you kill yourself.
4. this sort of stupid bullshit bad riding, which i see on a daily basis, makes drivers and pedestrians hate bikes. hell, it makes ME hate bikes. thanks. i spend a lot of time on my bike. thanks for making my errands, my commute, and my training rides more unpleasant, more unsafe, and more dangerous. this kind of shit reflects badly on those of us who ride a lot and do our best to co-exist with everyone else who needs to get around this city.
just remember: next time you--or the person who can't avoid you--might not both be so lucky.
- Location: going the wrong way on passyunk ave
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests